Archive | April, 2014

Me and a computer

30 Apr

A weak one to finish napowrimo…

Soon a sole computer’s power
Will be equivalent
To the total brains of me and you
And everyone who ever went

Now this could be quite daunting
But I take some solace
In a little fact in my favour
That a computer can’t replace

A computer knows all I know
But it cannot comprehend
The things I know I don’t know
That’s the difference, my friend

Their memory doesn’t degrade
Just as mine and yours will do
Theirs doesn’t have the benefit
Of hindsight’s rosy view

To summarise this thesis
Accidentally in rhyme
The problems with computers
Is they’re perfect all the thyme



30 Apr

Goodbye coffee
I knew you well
You tickled olfactory
With golden roast smell
But now I must leave you
My doctor insists
Ever since he sampled
My orange-brown piss

Goodbye cake
You filled my heart
Literally and figuratively
So now we must part
It will not be easy
But my surgeon said so
When he cut through my sternum
To find carnage below

Goodbye wine
You dulled all my pain
And stopped those voices
That were inside my brain
My probation officer
Told me I must not fail
Or the judge will just throw me
Straight back in jail

Goodbye life
It’s been a blast
I’ve lived hard and hearty
And so very fast
I’ll think of you fondly
But now I must leave
Because this bony fellow
Won’t give a reprieve.

Dodgy Career Choices

30 Apr

There’s a tune to go with this but I can’t write music so I can’t set it down. Trust me – it’s catchy!

I’m going to join the army, I’m going to join the war
I’m going to get a gun and give the other side what for
I don’t know who we’re fighting or what we’re fighting for
But I’m going to join the army and I’m going to join the war.

I’m going to be a banker, I’m going to make some cash
I’m going to get some business cards and drive around all flash
I’m not too good with numbers, but I’ll give it a bash
‘Cos I’m going to be a banker and I’m going to make some cash.

I’m going to be in movies, I’m going to be a star
I’m going to see my name in lights and have hookers in my car
I dance like Kevin Bacon, so I think I will go far
So I’m going to be in movies, I’m going to be a star

Poem 19: The Botany of Fear

29 Apr

My favourite poem of the year. Whowanderarelost’s work never fails to reach out of the screen and throttle me! And that’s a good thing!

Who Wander Are Lost

There are two kinds of fear: a fear to vanquish,
A shadow slowing growth that must be crossed
Like so to see the blushing petals flourish
Under sunlight’s kiss. But we distinguish
From this and nightfall’s darkness – fearful warning
That if we dare move then we relinquish
What could have been to be forever lost
Better to shrink and hold our breath too feverish
Choose to be still, simply await the morning
The first fear is fatal if we heed it
The second killing only if we misread it

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Tribute to whowanderarelost

29 Apr

This is a tribute to my favourite poet!

Faster than a speeding bull(it)
The rhymes flowed from her q(will)
Other poets tried but (never)
Could equally ful(fill)
They often stopped and wondered whe(the)r
They shouldn’t just a(void)
Competing from the (of)f
And not get so (a)nnoyed
Poets don’t feel (broken)
Remember, it’s just (he[art])

The Girl with the Saucepan on her Head

29 Apr

What happened to the girl
With the saucepan on her head
Did she wind up in the movies?
Did she write a book I read?
She became my lover
Then she became my wife
I removed the saucepan
And I ruined her life.

Animal traffic

26 Apr

I struggled for ideas today so here’s a little ditty inspired by that most mundane of things, a traffic bulletin…

“Animals on the motorway are causing congestion”
Said the news today, which led people to question
What kind of animals? Some lions? A bear?
And what were the animals doing on there?
Was an elephant running for charity?
Was tarmac being painted by a manatee?
Had a rhinoceros gone and shed its load?
Had porcupines got stuck in the road?
The news didn’t say, so nobody knows
But you could always ask the armadillos!

For napowrimo day 26