Archive | April, 2015

Statutory Right – napowrimo day 29

29 Apr
To whom it may concern
I’m sure that you’ll discern
A note of chagrin in this letter
I sincerely feel you can do better
Your products were low quality
Your service staff lacked jollity
When I asked to see the boss
He said he didn’t give a toss!
I’d like my money back
To make up for the lack
Of satisfaction that I got
I will be returning – NOT!


Take me to the bridge – for napowrimo day 28

28 Apr

The bridge
Is the bit
In the middle of the song
Where the music changes

The bridge
Is the bit
In the middle of the road
That goes over the river

The bridge
Is the bit
In the middle of my nose
I broke playing football

The bridge
Is the bit
In the middle of my life
Where I am right now

Don’t – hay(na)ku – for day 27 of napowrimo 2015

27 Apr

Ask me
I don’t dance

You dance
With your wife

Wild horses
Won’t drag me

Won’t you
Leave me alone

Go-go-Gadget Gloom! A persona poem for day 26 of napowrimo 2015

27 Apr

Go-go-Gadget Pen!
Here I go again
Trying to bare a soul
Churning in turmoil

I know my boss hates me
Chief Waldo Quimby
I’ll admit the odd mistake
But it’s time I had a break

I’m the joke of my family
My niece Penny especially
She’s such a know-it-all
And the dog’s no help at all

He and Penny solve each case
Leaving me with egg on face
They make me look so bad
I’m minded to join M.A.D.

Every single day
Life finds a way
To make me self-destruct
I’m well and truly… sad

So this is the end
My poem-reading friend
Life’s run out of juice
Go-go-Gadget Noose!

(cue hilarious scene as a rope extends out of Gadget’s hat, round a beam on the ceiling and down to the the floor where it loops around his ankle and hoists our hero upside-down in the air).

Election clerihews – for day 25 of napowrimo 2015

25 Apr

David Cameron
Was educated at Eton
That’s not worth a tease
Not like his policies

Ed Miliband
Would like to rule over our land
He doesn’t cut much of a dash
And he wants to spend borrowed cash

Nigel Farage
Should be locked in his garage
I’m not a fan of incarceration
But for him I would make an exception

Liberal Nick Clegg
Seemed to be a really good egg
But when his party gained office
He proceeded to break every promise

The Tower – for day 23 of napowrimo

23 Apr
Night. Darkest black
Reflecting evil in men’s hearts
On the high pedestal
On which they’d set themselves
Two men, dressed in garish clothes
Slap each other’s backs
How they’d risen from the dust
How they’d left the earth behind
To be in reach of God

Suddenly, the sky is rent
A bolt of electricity
Sears through the clouds
The tower is struck
The men are thrown
From the very top, their clothes aflame
And how they fall
And how they fall
And how they fall
All the way to the rocks below
Where their bodies and souls are dashed
Into a million pieces.


22 Apr
I hesitated before posting this as my daughter said it was ‘awful’ with ‘desperate rhymes’, but paraphrasing RuPaul, you’ve got to learn to take a lot of criticism in ‘the arts’.
Blossom rains down on my head
Around me forms a floral bed
Euphoria of nature’s confetti
Unfamiliar in the inner city
Sunlight plays through o’erhead branches
Squirrels cavort in playful dances
Tweeting birds in glory sound
Belying the concrete all around
I can hear photosynthesis
There’s no place better than this
In the big wide city stark
Oh how I love the park.